Tag Archives: Life

The Altars We Didn’t Know We Made (or Needed)

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Remember me
Though I have to say goodbye
Remember me
Don’t let it make you cry
For even if I’m far away I hold you in my heart
I sing a secret song to you each night we are apart

Remember me
Though I have to travel far
Remember me
Each time you hear a sad guitar
Know that I’m with you the only way that I can be
Until you’re in my arms again
Remember me

REMEMBER ME (LULLABY)

Let’s be honest—thanks to popular culture, there is curiosity around El Día de Los Muertos, or Day of the Dead. This Mexican holiday is celebrated on November 1 and 2 to honor and remember deceased loved ones. It is a joy-filled remembrance of life that involves building altars (ofrendas) with offerings, visiting and/or decorating graves, and sharing memories with family. The holiday blends ancient Mesoamerican and Spanish traditions into a celebration that welcomes the spirits of the dead for a brief reunion.

In recent years, this observance has taken on new meaning for me as more loved ones have passed from this life. It may sound selfish, but the idea of dedicating time to remember the most important people in our lives feels far more significant than some of the material-centered holidays we often celebrate. And while Día de los Muertos can be a grand, communal celebration, it can also be quietly observed in solitude.

Lately on social media, many creators have shared their stories, videos, and photos of their ofrendas. Some are elaborate and ornate, while others are simple and serene. Both are equally meaningful. At the same time, I’ve noticed conversations about who is “allowed” to participate, with some insisting on cultural credentials to take part in this day of remembrance. Yet, the overwhelming sentiment remains: we’ve all experienced loss, and the desire to honor those who shaped us is something universal.

A few days ago, I began putting out my Halloween decorations. As a 50-year-old empty nester, I don’t need to do this—and some might argue I shouldn’t—but Halloween has always been one of my favorite holidays. I have such fond memories of it from childhood and of celebrating it with my own kids. What started as a plan to display a few old photos of my kids in their costumes quickly turned into a full-blown decorating session. On the built-in shelves, I decorated every corner, including two spaces where I already have photos of my mom and mother-in-law, and my sweet dog, Madeline.

These memorials stay out year-round. In realizing that, I saw that I had already created my own version of an ofrenda—a quieter one, perhaps, but deeply meaningful. It’s something I see every day. A space that holds memories 24/7. A space I could never imagine packing away. Every time I look at it, I thank God for blessing me with such beautiful souls in my life, even if only for a season.

In the Bible, altars were sacred spaces for worship, sacrifice, and offering—first built by Noah, Abraham, and others. They were places of remembrance, of unity, of meeting with God. Thinking about that reminds me of one of my favorite passages, Joshua 4:6–7, where God tells His people to stack stones by the Jordan River as a lasting reminder of what He did for them:

“In the future, when your children ask you, ‘What do these stones mean?’ tell them…”

Both the altar and the memorial stones tell the same story: that remembering matters. That marking what—and who—has shaped us is a sacred act.

I’m not going to tell you to build an altar in your home or decorate an ofrenda. But I will encourage you to make space for remembrance—a moment, a corner, a conversation, or even a prayer—to honor those who came before you and hold space in your heart. Whether through tradition, faith, or personal reflection, remembrance roots us in gratitude.

After all, memory itself is sacred.

Now, tell their stories.

Still Me at 50, Part 4: From Cute and Clueless to Stylishly Comfy and Confident

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“Fashion is what you’re offered four times a year by designers. And style is what you choose.” —Lauren Hutton

Confession time: My family has always not-so-secretly wanted to nominate me for What Not to Wear—but they’re too afraid of retribution. And they should be. That doesn’t stop my daughter from giving me the occasional side-eye when I declare I’m dressed and ready to go. The thing is, I’ve spent the better part of five decades fine-tuning what works for me, and I’m not about to let someone with TikTok fashion tips tell me otherwise. I’m not chasing trends anymore. I’m chasing comfort, confidence, and the perfect pair of black pants that go with everything. Let’s talk fashion over 50—Garanimals for grown-ups, the beauty of a capsule wardrobe, and why my closet is one shade away from a funeral procession… and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Capsule Wardrobes / Garanimals for Grown-Ups:

I know you remember Garanimals. Born in the ’70s, this children’s clothing brand made dressing simple with mix-and-match options that took all the guesswork out of getting ready. Now hear me out—what if we brought this concept back… for adults? That’s essentially what a capsule wardrobe is, and believe me, I’ve been chasing one for over a decade. Imagine opening your closet, knowing everything goes together, and still looking pulled together even when you’re 20 minutes late. Honestly, fewer decisions and less laundry? Count me in.

Floating the Grown-Up Uniform Idea:

While we’re at it, can we normalize the grown-up uniform? I’m not saying we all need to dress like twins, but why do we act like wearing the same thing more than once is a fashion sin? I say embrace it. Pick a signature style and wear it proudly. If it worked for Steve Jobs, it can work for us. I want to make “repeat outfit offender” a badge of honor.

Online Shopping Is the Only Shopping:

Let’s be real—online shopping is where it’s at. While some people live for the thrill of the mall, I prefer clicking through curated options from my couch. Add to cart, try it on in my living room, no harsh lighting, no judgmental dressing rooms. And if I like something? I’ll take one in every color… or three in black. I’ve lived enough life to know my size, my vibe, and what brands understand both.

The Gospel of Black Clothing:

I once met a woman in California who wore black—only black. She worked in fashion, looked effortlessly chic, and made a lasting impression on 23-year-old me. To this day, I consider her an icon. There’s just something about black: it’s timeless, elegant, forgiving, and makes getting dressed foolproof. As my hair goes gray, my wardrobe gets darker—and honestly, I think I’m aging into my final form. All black everything with the confidence to match.

So who’s with me? Aging isn’t about fading into the background—it’s about stepping boldly into your own signature style. It’s about knowing what works, wearing what feels good, and confidently owning every inch of it. Whether it’s head-to-toe black or your own personal uniform, fashion over 50 isn’t about trends—it’s about truth. And mine happens to come in a very chic shade of black.

ABOUT THIS SERIES: Still Me at 50 is a lighthearted look at life through the eyes of someone who’s not trying to reinvent herself—but maybe just tweak the coffee order. As I celebrate this milestone year, I’m reflecting on all the ways I’ve stayed the same (for better or worse), and laughing at how my younger self would probably high-five me for keeping it “real talk real.” These posts are part celebration, part confession, and all in good fun.

Still Me at 50, Part 3: Boring by Choice, Fabulous by Design

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“For the unlearned, old age is winter; for the learned, it is the season of the harvest.” Hasidic saying

Don’t ask me what I want for dinner — I have no idea.
Ask me instead what I don’t want for dinner, and I probably won’t shut up.

One of the most beautiful parts of aging is wisdom. In fact, I think it’s the best part. Living five decades means I have very clear ideas about what works for me and what doesn’t. As a kid, I foolishly thought old people were boring — doing the same things day after day, with no excitement or mystery. Boy, was I wrong. Older folks curate the days they want. They sprinkle in excitement and mystery as it suits them. Old people are so cool.

I’ve tried — okay, half-heartedly — to become a morning person. I am now one with the fact that this will never happen. I’m a night owl. I’m all sunsets and stargazing and very little sunrise. Sure, I can wake with the sun if I absolutely have to. But it will never be my preference. I crave the quiet of night, when most of my time zone is tucked into bed, where they can’t call me, email me, or ask me what’s for dinner.

This is my peace.

Always a picky eater, I now fully embrace eating at home. Here is where all my favorite foods live — in my kitchen, made exactly how I like them. No more standing at restaurant counters wondering which entree I’m going to waste money on today. I don’t mind trying new places, but please don’t judge me when I immediately look for my standbys: sandwiches, soups, and salads.

This is my peace.

And while we’re fixing things: I have about a million brilliant ideas for making the world run more smoothly. (Just ask my friends and family, who lovingly decline every time I suggest they nominate me for President. Cowards.) Still, I stand by my platform: Let’s just make wearing black the standard life uniform and call it a day. As I’ve gotten older, my closet has morphed almost entirely into black — with a pop of color here and there for flair. I keep it real.

This is my peace.

Getting older doesn’t mean giving up excitement — it means getting better at choosing it. It means understanding what brings you comfort, what fuels your joy, and what you’re just fine living without. It’s not boring. It’s a beautiful kind of freedom. And for me, that freedom looks like tacos in my kitchen, black in my closet, sunsets on the hammock — and a little laughter tucked into every corner of the day…because I’m addicted to sitcom reruns.

ABOUT THIS SERIES: Still Me at 50 is a lighthearted look at life through the eyes of someone who’s not trying to reinvent herself—but maybe just tweak the coffee order. As I celebrate this milestone year, I’m reflecting on all the ways I’ve stayed the same (for better or worse), and laughing at how my younger self would probably high-five me for keeping it “real talk real.” These posts are part celebration, part confession, and all in good fun.

Still Me at 50, Part 2: My Unshakable Truths from 20 to 50

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“Age is simply the number of years the world has been enjoying you!” – Unknown

As you age, you’re supposed to get set in your ways. I have to confess—I was probably just born that way. Call it an Aries trait, a firstborn quirk, or just plain bossy, but I like things the way I like them. Period.

As a college student, I remember creating a list with friends about what types of men were acceptable for dating. I’m pretty sure the list exists somewhere, but I clearly remember two of my contributions. One, never date a guy who wears cut-off jeans as shorts, and two, the most important dating rule ever, never date a guy with hair better than your own!

So it tracks that I’ve not only followed rules my whole life—but made a few of my own along the way. And while we definitely won’t talk about the times I broke them (that’s a whole other post), allow me to present: Anna’s 10 Rules for Living Well.

  1. Pizza is breakfast. Carrying a piece of pizza in your purse while you go early morning Black Friday shopping is not only acceptable—it’s genius. Bonus points if it’s sausage pizza.
  2. Wear black year-round. The color is a standard. It elevates every look, every time. If I had a uniform, it would be all black. I am probably wearing black right now. (My favorite color is red, by the way.)
  3. No response is a response. Read that again.
  4. I either win or I learn. There is no defeat, only new opportunities to know better or do better.
  5. Flowers die, buy plants instead. As a self-proclaimed black thumb, I have been on a lifelong journey to grow things. It is not easy, and I am not a natural by any means. Nothing brings me more joy than watching something bloom…even if I had to lose a few succulents and fiddle leaf figs to get there.
  6. You can drink coffee all day. Don’t listen to haters.
  7. Road trips are personal concerts. You won’t catch me on the phone chatting it up when I’m on a long drive. No, sir, I am running through my personal, carefully curated playlists and singing at the top of my lungs. You should, too.
  8. Add to cart. Online shopping trumps in-person shopping every day of the week and for every product under the sun. Free shipping is a must.
  9. Don’t yell, smile, and laugh instead. My children find this terrifying. I find it 100% effective.
  10. Tell people you love them—always. Make it awkward, keep it weird, say it often. Life’s too unpredictable to leave it unsaid.

I could go on and on, but I can’t reveal all my secrets. After all, my life motto is “you’ve got to have an ace in the hole.” Shout out to King George.

So there you have it—just a few of the personal commandments that make my little world spin smoothly. Some are silly, some are serious, and some (like purse pizza) are downright legendary. Turning 50 hasn’t made me softer on my rules—but it has made me prouder of the life they’re helping me shape. So go ahead, make your own list. Just promise me one thing: don’t ever date a guy with better hair than yours. That’s sacred.

ABOUT THIS SERIES: Still Me at 50 is a lighthearted look at life through the eyes of someone who’s not trying to reinvent herself—but maybe just tweak the coffee order. As I celebrate this milestone year, I’m reflecting on all the ways I’ve stayed the same (for better or worse), and laughing at how my younger self would probably high-five me for keeping it “real talk real.” These posts are part celebration, part confession, and all in good fun.

Still Me at 50: Just With Stronger Coffee and a Deep Commitment to Quality Breakfast Burritos

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“You don’t stop laughing when you grow old, you grow old when you stop laughing.”

— George Bernard Shaw

If you know anything about me, you know that I live to laugh. I credit this quality with helping me lead a happy, mostly peaceful, and unbothered life. I’m the kind of girl who would rather watch silly sitcoms than movies, prefers clever podcasts to dramatic series, and there’s nothing I love more than chatting with a quick-witted friend. So as I celebrate 50 years of life, I’m quietly chuckling at how little my personality has changed over the years.

I was a smiley kid, and I had a wonderful childhood. Comedy was built into our family—though I’m not sure every member of the household remembers it that way. I mean, I found a lot of things absolutely hilarious. I have too many funny memories to count, and thanks to my brothers, I was often the target of their practical jokes. One of the funniest parts now is looking back and laughing at the times I took myself way too seriously. My siblings will gladly tell you how ridiculously clumsy I was, making you belly laugh over the countless times I injured myself trying to do something sporty or just walk in a grocery store. Even today, the best part of going home is all the laughter. It’s in our DNA.

And speaking of DNA—one of the silly routines I’ve carried with me from childhood to adulthood is the importance of breakfast. I think it would warm my mom’s heart (and maybe even get a proud little smile) to know how her breakfast mandate stuck with me over the years. I even harp on my own kids about it. I can’t make travel plans without calculating when and where we’ll get breakfast AND coffee. I go to sleep thinking about breakfast AND coffee. I’ve even said out loud, more than once, “You know what I’m excited about?” That’s right: breakfast AND coffee. You’re laughing at me, but it’s true.

I hope I never stop laughing—especially at myself. Which brings us to the inspiration behind this blog post. Here’s a quick giggle for you. I remember being a 20-year-old college student, rushing into a campus building (coins in hand) to buy a crummy cup of coffee from a vending machine. All the while, I had scrambled eggs wrapped in a tortilla (protected by aluminum foil) tucked into the small pocket of my bag. That was my daily college breakfast. No amount of money could persuade me to drink vending machine coffee today. I still like my coffee strong, but it’s name brand and a whole lot more refined—and yes, I’ve definitely upgraded my breakfast burrito game, too.

At 50, I have leveled up, but make no mistake—I’m still that same girl laughing at her own clumsiness, with a heart full of gratitude, coffee in hand… and probably some salsa on her shirt.

ABOUT THIS SERIES: Still Me at 50 is a lighthearted look at life through the eyes of someone who’s not trying to reinvent herself—but maybe just tweak the coffee order. As I celebrate this milestone year, I’m reflecting on all the ways I’ve stayed the same (for better or worse), and laughing at how my younger self would probably high-five me for keeping it “real talk real.” These posts are part celebration, part confession, and all in good fun.

None of Us are Good at Tragedy

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All of the wrong things will be said.

And we will never hear enough of the right things.

The sadness, shock, and the fact that most of us are ill-equipped to deal with the bad stuff, the sad stuff, the unexpected, and especially grief means that we will likely screw things up. And we will screw it up more than once. I’ll say it again, none of us are good at tragedy.

As news of the D.C. crash broke, our sadness and disbelief quickly moved into blame, conspiracy theories, and political division.

If you’ve ever found yourself in a situation where you needed to offer grace, empathy, sympathy, aid, or any kind of support, you know that these things are not easy to do. Most of us spend our lifetime trying to avoid the bad stuff. It makes sense. None of this comes naturally. We are all flawed humans. No one wants to be in a situation like this. And yet, the reality is that we will experience tragedy and experience it more than once.

In these vulnerable times, we feel the need to clap back, answer back, and make sure that we’re heard…and maybe we shouldn’t. As we try to “do something,” soothe our own anxiety and find reason and explanation for the unexplainable, our sadness manifests itself as anger. Rather than crying, we lash out or worse—we post a zillion things on social media. According to therapists, everyone wants to be helped, heard, or hugged in times of stress or crisis. So often, in our attempts to satisfy these needs ourselves, we take the easiest route and cast blame while screaming at the top of our lungs, “This isn’t fair! It’s not right!” And it isn’t. The hardest part of tragedy and grief exists in the silence. Seeking to be helped, heard, or hugged may meet a need in the moment, but true healing is a long and slow process.

We can’t win here. People want answers, demand answers, and in the haste to give the people answers, we can say some pretty nasty things. We say unhinged things. We say dismissive things. We even make up things. We’ve been conditioned or maybe entitled to feel like we need to know and we need to know right now. Oftentimes we turn to authority figures, experts, and the news media for answers forgetting that they, too, are flawed humans who are also not good at tragedy. We love to make our politicians, law enforcement, religious leaders, and anyone who we don’t like or agree with into the enemy when we should be coming together in love, empathy, and understanding. While we can’t do much in these times of tragedy, we can honor others by offering prayers and extending peace.

You already know this, but these things are cyclical. We have quickly moved from disbelief and sadness to blame and now we’re learning the stories of the lives of the precious souls on Flight 5342 and in the helicopter that night. We mourn the loss while seeking answers and then we will wait. The news cycle, the political discourse, and life move on.

I am not good at tragedy. My heart has been broken enough times to know that this is part of life and no one escapes it. I take seriously the call to do no harm and offer my deepest condolences to the families and friends of those lost.

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18

GIFTED: A Childhood Christmas Memoir (Vignette Two)

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“A typewriter is a portal to worlds waiting to be discovered.” – Neil Gaiman

When I was eight I marched right into the kitchen and told my mom that I was going to college. She asked if I even knew what college was and I said, of course I do. It’s where you go after high school. And that was about as much as I knew about that. It wasn’t long after when I declared that I wanted to be a writer. I’m sure she wasn’t too surprised. I had been writing and illustrating my own books and telling bedtime stories to my siblings for years. Around 4th or 5th grade, I decided that I wasn’t going to be just any kind of writer, I would be a reporter and a reporter needs a typewriter.

At Christmas time I received a Petite 600, a portable little typewriter complete with a learner’s manual. I’m not sure how much of an odd ask it is to request a typewriter at Christmas time, but I’ll admit now that I was an odd kid. Opening that present was the beginning of a new era for me. And while I was not a good typist, typing was a heck of a lot faster than writing things out and that was good enough for me.

I remember writing stories and even creating my own family newspaper. I would play “newsroom” and “reporter” all the time. I would use carbon paper when I typed so I could create multiple copies of my newspaper to distribute. My sister and I even secured a Barbie 6 O’Clock News Play Set. The determination level was high.

I did go to college and became a reporter and as a blogger today, I’m still writing. Receiving a typewriter was one of my absolute favorite gifts. It was more than just getting what you want under the tree. The magic was in getting the typewriter you wanted because someone believed in your dreams just as much as you did. You can’t buy that kind of gift.

GIFTED is a three-part series about the best Christmas gifts I received in childhood. Take a walk with me down memory lane as I unwrap the magic of Christmases past.

GIFTED: A Childhood Christmas Memoir (Vignette One)

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“Christmas is a piece of one’s home that one carries in one’s heart.” – Freya Stark

The nostalgia of Black Friday shopping rears its head this time every year. Most people glorify the event, and as someone who tiptoed into these waters in the early 2000s, I never really experienced its full heyday. I’ve waited in pre-dawn lines and weaved through the crowds, but no punches were thrown, no shoving of any kind, and definitely no arrests. Still, whenever I think about Black Friday my mind immediately goes back to the 1980s when I was a kid and my Mom somehow managed to secure Cabbage Patch Kid dolls for me and my little sister.

I regret never asking mom for the full story, but I remember minor details. It went something like this: We desperately wanted Cabbage Patch Kids. We likely kept mentioning it and basically annoying my mom to no end. Miraculously the dolls showed up under the tree that Christmas! However, we both received boy dolls. First, I didn’t know Cabbage Patch Kids could be boys as all of my other dolls were girls. Second, my mom was prepared for our shock and confusion as she immediately told us we could adopt them as girls…if we wanted to. Her exact words were, “Peyton and Ramsey can be boy or girl names. So you get to choose.” Who knew?

Amanda had Ramsey and designated her doll a girl on the spot. This was easy to do because Ramsey had a gender-neutral outfit on. One hair bow later and she was all set! Peyton was another story. My doll was wearing a full-on football uniform. He had a helmet, a green jersey and white pants with a green stripe. Then my dad said something along the lines of maybe he’s named after Walter Payton. I knew who Walter Payton was and although my doll’s name was spelled differently, it all made sense to me. My doll stayed a boy. It was love at first sight!

We took those silly dolls everywhere. Back and forth to our grandparents, on car rides, and to bed with us every night. We snuggled them and dressed them in baby clothes. We took them to the grocery store. One of my favorite memories is that Amanda and I put both our dolls in the front of the cart and strapped them in like real babies and then we wandered off leaving my mom pushing around a cart of dolls while shopping. I remember that she wasn’t happy with us after all the strange looks she got that day in the store.

The following Christmas we received another Cabbage Patch Kid doll. Girls this time. Wanda was a cheerleader, the perfect match for my Peyton! I have a zillion stories about these dolls. We had so many adventures and eventually, I passed them on to my own daughter. While I’ll never know the full story of how my mom managed to snag our Cabbage Patch Kids, I do know that the magic of Christmas extends well beyond the day. It lives in these precious memories.

GIFTED is a three-part series about the best Christmas gifts I received in childhood. Take a walk with me down memory lane as I unwrap the magic of Christmases past.

Rage Shopping (Not My Finest Quality, But It Might Be My Funniest)

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My least favorite aspect of shopping is shopping. —A.J. Mendez

Usually, it’s bacon but today is was greeting cards.

Turns out while I have a million and one thank you, birthday, happy graduation and Chrismas cards in the home office, what I didn’t have were wedding cards. Who knew? So, I did what anyone else would do in my situation—I hotfooted it over to Dollar Tree and bought more than my fair share. Not just wedding cards, but blank all occassion cards, too, because you’re not going to catch me lacking. And why not, this is America, right?

My behavior has been lovingly dubbed by my family as “rage shopping.” Used in a sentence: “We’re out of (insert item here) and Mom bought a thousand of them so she NEVER has to do it again.” Pretty straightforward.

I’m not sure when it happened, but I fell out of love with shopping and not just for groceries, but for anything. I don’t want to buy shoes or clothes. I don’t want to shop for home decor. I’m not into jewelry or other fancy things. We can blame Amazon Prime for it, but the reality is my anti-shopping attitude has been decades in the making. I’m a pretty simple girl and I would just rather spend my time doing other things, like listening to podcasts. If I had my way, we would order absolutely EVERYTHING. I’m trying to decide, does that make me crazy, lazy or both?

Recently, I’ve added a new dimension to my rage shopping. It’s the rage I experience when they don’t let you pick up something from an online shopping order. Have you experienced this? For example, there are certain more popular coffee brands that you can only purchase INSIDE THE STORE. Excuse me? Sometimes when I am trying to order a product I’ve purchased a thousand times over it suddenly is removed from my online cart, only to find out that they have rows of the product INSIDE THE STORE. Pardon? While some stores will tell you upfront that the item is available in store only, other establishments make you think that they’ve been out of an item for months only to find out that there’s plenty, but it’s a privilege for in store shoppers only. What?

Let’s be honest, I’m not the person in the house who does the bulk of the shopping but recently I have been a little more adventurous, especially with the kids home from college. I’ve been everywhere…Walmart, Target, Kohls, Trader Joe’s, Marshalls, Michaels, Ulta, HomeGoods, Sephora, Academy, Old Navy…honestly the list goes on and on, it’s too long in fact. And I can confirm, I am reallly, REALLY not into shopping.

Still, since the kids are dragging me to all these places you better believe I’ll be stocking up on EVERYTHING. Rage shopping for the win.

Puppy Tales: In Loving Memory of Maddie

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Madeline Rose Spencer, April 2008-September 2023

“Dogs leave paw prints on your heart.”

—Anonymous

Everyone should have a cup of coffee with a dog. Just try to make sure it’s not the same cup. More on that in a moment….

Losing a dog is hard. No one tells you just how hard it will be. After almost fifteen years, our Maddie is gone. She was the absolute best dog. That’s easy for me to say, but I wholeheartedly believe it. I had no idea what we signed up for when we brought her into our home. She was a gift for my son’s 7th birthday and as crazy as it sounds, we found her on Craigslist. Really. We loaded up the “swagger wagon” (our minivan) and hotfooted it 70 miles north to Lindsborg, Kansas to pick her up. The whole thing was sketchy. Really. Top to bottom sketchy, but we headed back home with a four month old Aussie and some super excited kids in the backseat.

I always claimed to be a dog person, but the reality is that I was more of a dog-adjacent person. Meaning that I like dogs (way better than cats) but I had also never had a dog of my own. Sure we had dogs growing up, however, they weren’t my responsibility. EVER. I can recall letting the dogs in and out and occassionally feeding them, but that’s the extent of my dog experience.

My son, Sean, always wanted a dog. ALWAYS. He had a stuffed dog as a baby and just seemed naturally drawn to dogs. He wanted a dog as a toddler. He wanted a dog as a preschooler. He wanted a dog…well, you get the picture. We told him that as soon as we had a house with a fenced backyard we would get a family dog. In July 2008, we moved into a house and had a dog by September. He held us to our word.

I could write novels on all of Maddie’s adventures. She was a herding breed and exercised that trait over and over. The poor kids were frequently rounded up and pinned up against trees, fences, the house…you name it. The more they screamed, the more excited Maddie got. Maddie was tiny when we got her, but it’s hard to imagine her that way because she grew up alongside the kids. My daughter, Casey, baptized Maddie an innumerable amount of times and both kids taught her tricks. She escaped the backyard on Christmas Day resulting in the Great Snowscape of 2008. Maddie knocked our Christmas tree over too many times to count. We discovered she had an affinity for sugar cookies…both baked and unbaked, resutling in several cookie capers and vomit. There was Maddie’s Deep Depression Era the summer when her fur was shaved to all of our horror! She was incredibly protective. She let her presence be known every time someone came in or out of the house. She nipped at everyone, even Sean and Casey whom she saw every day. We’re pretty sure she only actually got a hold of one person’s backside, but I can’t verify this. This dog. Oh, how we loved her.

Maddie was named after the character with the same moniker from “The Suite Life of Zach and Cody” show on Disney Channel. I started calling her Madeline because I love the Madeline books and I felt like it had a little more gravity when I was trying to be stern with the dog…this of course never worked. Maddie or Madeline, she remained indifferent and only listened when it suited her.

I’m grateful for the time we had together. Our family is better for it. Maddie brought joy, laughter, antics, adventures, and occasionally bewilderment to our household. She was all personality. She was the softest dog on the planet, and I can say this with all certainty because that was one of the most common compliments she received. She was beautiful and at almost 15 years had practically no gray at all to her coat. We loved to take photos and videos of her…running, playing with her toys, catching the ball, sleeping on the couch when she wasn’t allowed to be on the furniture…you get the picture. Casey had some of the best photos of her. Of course, Maddie wouldn’t pose…even if you bribed her, but Casey managed to get some great shots. I’m glad we have these reminders to keep her memory alive.

I’ll share my absolute favorite Maddie story now: Everyone should have a cup of coffee with a dog. Just try to make sure it’s not the same cup. When Maddie was a puppy she quickly became my sidekick. Not because I was her favorite (far from it), but because I was the one she got stuck with at home. Every morning Steve and kids would leave for work and school and Maddie would be with me. If you know me, I am not a morning person and thus coffee is vital for survival. I had the same routine. Get everyone out the door, pour myself a cup of coffee, set it on the coffee table in the living room and head back to the kitchen to fetch a bowl of Cheerios. We had one of those hand-me-down, low level ’70s coffee tables, the perfect height to put your feet up on or rest your coffee cup, but also the perfect height for a puppy to indulge herself in a new treat. Of course, Maddie wasn’t greedy. She’d just take a few licks from the top…while I was grabbing my breakfast. I was new to dogs, she was new to coffee and it was probably two weeks before I knew what she was doing. Caught in the act, I poured out the coffee, recalled the scene from Charlie Brown where Lucy goes nuts about dog germs, and started a new routine. If you’re going to walk away from your coffee cup, make sure it’s on a tall (very tall) surface. You might wonder how I wasn’t aware of this before, but as I mentioned earlier, I was a dog-adjacent person. Maddie and I, we learned together.

My coffee cup is safe now. I wish it wasn’t.

We love you, Maddie-girl. You are missed a thousand times every day.

A home without a dog is just a house.

anonymous